The 5 Love Languages
We all love our partner, our children, our friends, our students… And they love us.
But even though we love them all and we do our best to try and express it, sometimes they don’t FEEl it.
And even though we intellectually know that they love us, sometimes we don’t FEEL it however much they may try to express it.
This is because we speak different love languages!
And unless we learn to speak in the other person’s love language they will not FEEL our love despite all of our good intentions and great efforts.
What makes you feel loved? Really loved?
We need to take the time to figure out our own love language so that we can let the people around us know how to love us better, and we need to invest time in learning other’s love languages so that we can help them feel our love to them.
You can discover your own love language by asking yourself these questions:
❤ How do I express love to others?
❤ What do I complain about the most?
❤ What do I request most often?
You can try and figure out other’s love language by observing the way that they express love. Usually, they will “speak” the same love language that they would like to “hear”.
Here are the 5 Love Languages as described by Dr. Gary Chapman:
Words of Affirmation
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” is important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.
Verbal compliments or words of appreciation are powerful communicators of love.
Quality Time
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you” like full, undivided attention. Beingthere for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, phone away, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.
Gifts
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.
Acts of Service
Can vacuuming the floors or helping with homework really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.
People who speak this love language seek to please their partners by serving them; to express
their love for them by doing things for them. Actions such as cooking a meal, setting a table, washing the dishes, helping with homework, walking the dog are all acts of service. They require thought, planning, time, effort and energy. If done with a positive spirit, they are indeed expressions of love.
Physical Touch
A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.
Understanding the Love Languages and spying after your friends or classmates or siblings or any significant one to find out what language they speak in can enhance your relationship and resolve past hurt.
Let’s make it better for each other and fill this world with love and understanding!
To Bring: Some flowers and leaves and feathers or shells from the beach, at least one for each student.
Discussion in Sole Mate
While sitting in a circle in Sole Mates (each participant giving their right foot for their neighbour on their right to be massaged. Switch sides halfway), take a short moment to introduce the 5 Love Languages and then ask each participant in their turn to answers this question:
What Makes You Feel Loved?
We can learn so much from each other by sharing our communal knowledge in the circle!
5-10 Minutes
Rainbow Human Mandala
This is an expression of Quality Time and Physical Touch!
Start sitting in the circle with all the knees touching and spend the first minute or two of the Rainbow Human Mandala Massaging each others’ shoulders, neck, shoulder blades, scalp, ears, and rubbing each other’s back.
Continue from here to different stretches all connected to each other and providing support through the way you connect.
YOu can start exploring all of the following movements in the Crossed Legged Sitting Position and slowly move to other poses to explore all of those movements all over again:
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Bend forwards
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Bend Backwards
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Twist
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Side Bend
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Arch & Hollow
To transition to the next pose, keep one of your legs in the same place and move the other to a different place, and voila, you are in a different pose all ready to explore those movements again!
10 Minutes
Walking Hugs Meditation
Again and expression of Physical Touch.
Put some music on and guide participants to dance around the room.
Then add: whenever you feel like it, hug someone.
Next song… Close your eyes and connect to your heart. Walk around the room and find someone you feel a connection with. Hug gently, without forcing it. Find the perfect fit. Melt into each other.
All of the yummy hormones are starting to flow after a 20 seconds hug… or longer…
Next song… Eye gaze in the pairs for a minute or so - This is Quality Time!
5 Minutes
Partner Yoga Sequence
Again Quality Time and Physical Touch… But also Acts Of Service as we help each other stretch!
Saying I Love You
For Words Of Appreciation:
Sit down in groups of 3, each person says "I love you" in different voices while the others imitate them. It’s supposed to be funny… so loads of laughing is totally cool!
About 1 Minute each…
5 Minutes
Bossy Massage
This is the Acts of Service Love Language...
In groups of 3, one person lies down and they literally commend the other two where to massage them. For example “massage my feet”, “Stronger/softer” etc.
The 2 massagers just follow the commends without commenting or talking at all.
So much fun!
Take a couple of minutes for each person before switching.
5 Minutes
Whispers of Appreciation
Coming back to Words Of Appreciation…
Sitting in the circle, each person in their turn tells out-loud something that they appreciate about the person on their right.
When you complete the circle you can do the same the other way around, everyone saying something they appreciate about the person on their left.
5 Minutes
The Thankfulness Challenge
Place gift items around the room… Nothing too materialistic… Best things are some flowers and leaves and feathers or shells from the beach that you gather right before the class.
Remembering the same partners as in the hug and Partner Yoga, all participant has one minute to run around and find a "gift" for their partner.
When the timer goes off, partners return with their "gift". The giver can explain why they chose this gift for their friend, and the receiver of the gift has to take it and say thank you and something complementary to the giver or about the gift.
5 Minutes
If you have a few more minutes you can lead a discussion about which Love Language expressed in the class made them feel most loved.
Want to learn how to share yoga and mindfulness with your children at home or with your students at school?
Join one of our Rainbow Kids Yoga Teacher Trainings today! Click here to sign up!
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